Doing a new Bible study and losing sleep over it already

That’s not all bad. Sure, I need to catch some z’s, like anyone else. I’m a little tired. But God’s working this for good.

Let’s back up a moment.

I am blessed to belong to a wonderful group of ladies, who gather weekly to dig into meaty Bible studies. The insights and heart-shares go way past anything I’ve ever experienced in a group before. Our times together are amazing.

Here’s the best part.

These ladies are prayer warriors. I’m not even kidding. They take prayers right to the ear of God, often backing up intercessions with relevant Bible promises. We love to pray when we get together. Plus, when these ladies promise to pray over something, they follow through. They pray for the whole week, not just when we gather.

I cannot tell you how inspired I am by these ladies of faith. And God, in His great grace, has responded to their prayers again and again.

We have seen remarkable answers to prayer.

• Conflicts have been mended.
• Injuries have been repaired.
• Jobs have been found.
• People have come to faith.
• Rebellious teens have returned.
• Sick loved ones have been healed.
• Wallets have been stretched month-long.
• The list goes on and on.

Clearly, the enemy has taken notice.

Two months ago, we decided to dig into a new Bible study. The program, penned and taught by a currently popular Bible teacher, includes participant workbooks and DVD teaching. Eagerly, we all purchased our books.

Then the DVD went missing.

Finally, the situation was resolved, and we began the Bible study. The emphasis is on prayer, spiritual warfare, and the armor of God (see Ephesians 6). We are already figuring out why the enemy might not be fond of this material.

I’ve been losing sleep ever since I cracked that book. God keeps waking me up to pray. Although I cherish those quiet moments we share (just me and God), I’m gearing up to pray another Scripture tonight:

“I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.”

(Psalm 3:5, NIV)

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Betrayed again ... but Jesus knows the feeling

I’ve just been betrayed – for the umpteenth time. (I stopped counting a long time ago. It was only hurting me to do so.)

Who’s the betrayer?

It’s not worth belaboring the details. Let’s just say it was someone who should know better. Someone who once promised to be an ally. Someone with whom, for a variety of reasons, I cannot avoid interacting fairly often. Someone who deliberately set out to damage me in front of other people.

It sort of backfired on the betrayer this time, who ended up looking worse for wear. But thank God, it’s not my job to discipline the deceiver. I didn’t jump in. I just looked away. Anyway, people got it. Truth has a way of outing, once in a while.

Still it hurt.

Hey, it happens. And this breach of trust, like so many before it, might never be fixed. Sure, the Lord calls us to forgive. And we do. But trust is hard to rebuild, especially when deceit, disregard, and double-crossing are demonstrated routinely and cavalierly.

What can we do when this happens?

Sometimes there’s nothing we can do, except to step back and pray God will guard our hearts. And He does.

Jesus gets it.

He was betrayed by a close friend, someone who promised to stick with Him. Someone who shared His daily life, His journeys, and His meals. He knows the heavy sighs, the aching heart, and the soul sorrow of betrayal. And He comes alongside to comfort us when we face the same disappointment.

“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.” (Psalm 118:6-9, ESV)

I like the part about looking in triumph on the one who hates. I don’t really care about triumphing over the betrayer. But I do want to triumph over the hurt in my own heart. That battle is worth winning. And the Lord has already claimed the victory.

In His power, we can look at the haters and the hurters from a position of strength. And that’s a big win. We know we are abundantly loved by the One that truly matters, no matter what a betrayer may say or do.

Judas, I forgive you. But my boundaries just grew a little bigger and stronger again.

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