What’s a born-again virgin, and does it matter?

Is it possible for a person who is no longer a virgin (either male or female) to be made virginal again?

Recently, a friend raised this question. Apparently, someone she knows claimed to be a born-again virgin, although this person is a divorced parent with multiple biological children.

Is this person a born-again virgin? And does it matter? 

Maybe this is merely a question of semantics.

Sure, the Bible speaks clearly of God’s forgiveness, grace, and new beginnings. The Lord of love delights in extending His mercy to any and all who call upon Him. He rescues the fallen and raises the broken-hearted.

Any Christian can quote the passage from John 3, when Jesus told Nicodemus that a person must be born again to enter the Kingdom of God. And we understand He wasn’t talking about the physical birth, but an eternal and spiritual one.

So, from that spiritual standpoint, a person’s virginity could be restored. (And not all sex is sin, of course. Even the most conservative believers would have to agree with that, especially if they've reproduced. But that may be another post for another time.)

Psalm 103:12 offers this promise:

He has removed our sins as far from us
    as the east is from the west.

What a wonderful assurance for those who believe. I love that! No matter what harms and hurts we've turned away from, God promises to make us new.

But what about the born-again virgin question?

Should we stick purity rings on the fingers of all who turn away from their past sexual experiences? What about the divorced man or woman, the unwed parent, the once-rebellious teenager, the human trafficking victim, or the rape or incest survivor? Can anyone claim sexual experience never happened?

Certainly, God-bought innocence is real. His loving-kindness knows no limits. His purity is genuine. And anyone can have a fresh start, which the Bible calls being born again.

Can virginal status be restored?

We can understand and even salute the spiritual conviction that may lie within such a consideration. It speaks of a fresh start, which is a wonderful thing. And this offers a marvelous means of extending godly grace to those who earnestly crave it.

The idea of restored virginity may represent the removal of personal guilt and shame for past sexual experiences, either within or without the cover of marriage. (Yes, guilt and shame can happen inside of marriage. Ask any therapist.) From that viewpoint, this seems like a worthwhile idea.

And the concept of born-again virginity may boost a person’s commitment to abstinence, going forward. If it helps someone to keep his or her own convictions, is it wrong?

At the same time, there seems to be simply something weird about anyone publicly boasting about born-again virgin status, unless this represents a turning point in that person’s testimony of faith. Even then, that person would likely not crow about his or her own status, but of the redeeming work the Lord has done.

Born-again virginity is not exactly a Facebook status. It’s not a badge, a billboard, a bumper sticker, or a boast.

Let’s not trivialize the wonderful mercies and life-changing grace of the Lord. It’s far too costly to be cute.

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When nothing else holds, God still does

Some Scriptures seem to become so familiar that we are tempted to skim swiftly over them while reading the Bible.

Not long ago, I signed up for a cover-to-cover Bible reading event, and found this to be particularly true. When the goal is completion, content may be a challenge.

It’s certainly easy to speed-read, but learn little.

I don’t mean to negate the value of reading through the entire Bible. This is absolutely a worthwhile goal. It’s just that I know how I can focus on the finish line, instead of the finer details.

Maybe you’ve experienced something similar – at least, on occasion.

The hurry can overtake the hunger for God’s truth.

That’s where prayer and re-reading come in – so we don’t miss a genuine gem.

This wonderful Bible verse is a prime example. I was zipping through the Psalms, reading 5-6 a day, and nearly missed this familiar favorite.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

(Psalm 73:25-26, NIV)

It hit me like a spiritual speed-bump. And I am so glad it did!

What a truth. What a fabulous promise.

No matter what happens to our love and longings, health and wealth, enthusiasm and energy, goals and gathered goods, God is still there.

He is more than enough. And He cannot get enough of you ... and me.

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When do CLICHES become REAL?

Sometimes words fail us at life’s most soul-ripping moments. But pat answers can be profound. Can’t they?

When do cliches become real?

Within the past two days, three different friends’ life crises have broken my heart.

• One friend has left her husband after 18 years of marriage.
• Another has been suddenly left, with her husband of 21 years calling for a divorce.
• Still another just learned she has terminal cancer, with her doctor estimating she may have a year to live.

God only knows the horrific histories that brought these beloved friends to such painful points.

What words can possibly bring comfort to dear ones at such times?

Consider these few approaches the best-meaning folks often take.

“Trust the Lord.”

Of course, we should.

But do these words offer comfort, when someone is broken?

Surely, they may. Or such a statement may feel like a brush-off or unwelcome instruction. Could this depend upon the context and the nature of the speaker’s relationship with the one who is struggling or sorrowing?

How often do “You really should…” comments add to the load a burdened person is already carrying?

“I’ll pray for you.”

Of course, we will.

But how often do we say such things (or post them on social networking sites), but fail to follow through? When we do that, isn’t it a little like patting someone’s hand before bolting for the nearest exit? Will we make a quick escape or double back later to see how he or she is doing?

If a friend’s son is battling a life-threatening disease, will I pray as intensely for him as I would for my own child?

“May God comfort you.”

Of course, He will.

But what makes this benevolent benediction meaningful? Maybe it’s all about how much we mean it.

When we really know people, and when we have invested heart and hearing in one another’s lives, then maybe such words carry extra purpose and power.

Perhaps that’s when cliches become real.

Colossians 4:6 talks about how grace seasons words for added flavor and strength.

It always comes back to grace. Oh, how we need it.

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